CoMpLeTe ChAoS... :-o

2007-08-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

Just for those who are wondering, yes, I am still alive! Also, want to add special thanks to those who made special inquiries about me here in my comments- it's always nice to feel missed! :) Thank-you so much!__I am not sure what I wrote about in my last post- I think it was a MEME- and I know I have yet to talk about my vacation (which actually seems like a lifetime ago!)- but I have so much

2007-06-23T19:49:00.000-05:00

I just got back from my vacation to the Bahamas (and I'll post about that later), but first this :)... THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:1. Andrea2. Drea/Dre3. A.THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:this one is going to be tough... 1. My eyes- I like that they change colors depending on what I wear2. My hair- it's naturally curly, but I prefer it straight... I like being able to have the option

2007-06-15T22:47:00.000-05:00

Today actually started with a bang, but, unfortunately, ended with a BIG, old THUD. :( :(:( ... but that's generally how things go for me, so I guess I can't be totally surprised. Let me back up and describe what happened...Basically it was an ordinary day... well, actually, no, it wasn't. Today was my last day at my job. I think I mentioned in a previous post that I accepted a different

2007-06-05T20:44:00.000-05:00

I have been meaning to post... and I'd like t say that I have a good reason why I haven't, but I really don't have any excuse.Actually, scratch that. I think part of the reason I put off writing was b/c I was sort of hoping that I would have better things to report than I do... But, sadly, I'm still doing about the same.Depression is a very powerful thing and, though I feel like I am trying to

2007-05-12T17:54:00.000-05:00

Time for an update...Since I've posted last, a lot has changed. Some good, or possibly good, and some, well, not really good at all. My mood lately has been up and down. There are moments that I feel ok- where I feel alright with things and can function pretty normally (well, as normally as possible for me). But those moments are so fleeting- and it seems that just about anything can send me into

2007-05-03T21:57:00.000-05:00

I'm going to try and keep this post short and sweet (if that's possible)... but forgive me if I ramble a bit... I'll do my best to get to the point. Ever put yourself out on the limb or do something that you would probably never do... only to be disappointed? Unfortunately that seems like the story of my life. And, sadly, when that happens, it makes me far less likely to take further chances. I

2007-04-19T23:37:00.000-05:00

It's 12:38 am and, yes, I should be sleeping right now, but I can't... I don't know why exactly, but I'm feeling VERY alone tonight. In fact, as I write this, tears are falling. I'm sad, to put it in the most simplistic words I can probably express. But it pretty much sums ME up right now. I know I only write here to express my sadness... at least most of the time, but I guess I don't know

2007-03-25T19:34:00.000-05:00

Sadly, the weekend is over :( ... It sucks that it's over and another Monday is approaching, but I guess that's how it goes. Hopefully, it will go a little smoother than last week.Speaking of which, I didn't post about it, but just about a week ago, I had a little mishap driving to work. It was Monday, and I figured that b/c of that I should leave a little earlier as there seems to be more

2007-03-16T18:47:00.000-05:00

It's a winter storm here today in my neck of the woods~ It's been snowing, sleeting, and, I think, we are on freezing rain now... Lovely, isn't it? As you can tell by my sarcasm, I'm SO not a fan of this mixed precipitation, but seeing that we've been pretty much spared this winter- I probably shouldn't complain. Anyway, due to the weather, I didn't make it into work. I felt somewhat guilty

2007-03-10T21:12:00.000-05:00

A few of my fellow OC bloggers did this one, so I decided to try it too! It actually seems to be pretty accurate as these quizzes go... Although I'm not too sure about the being balanced or peaceful part (???) . The Part of You That No One SeesYou are balanced, peaceful, and sincere.You're the type of person who goes along to get along.And you're definitely afraid of rocking the

2007-03-04T21:33:00.000-05:00

Seven Things... (thanks for the tag, BetterCell :) ). SEVEN THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE...1. Get "cured" from T1DM.(Had to steal this from BC- kind of tops my list)2. Find my soulmate3. Find a career I love 4. See more of the world...5. Get to meet and know more people.6. Be more accepting of myself and others 7. Find HappinessSEVEN THINGS I CANNOT DO1. Be Organized2. Stop Drinking Diet Soda :o(3

2007-03-01T21:32:00.000-05:00

I had a discussion with my Mom during the week- ok, it was more like a disagreement than a discussion... Anyway, regardless of what you may call it, something came up that has been on my mind over the last few days. Basically, she said that she doesn't think that I am ever going to be happy or content with anything... Ok, she was speaking in terms of the support that she gives me, not so much

2007-02-25T21:39:00.000-05:00

I hate to say it, but I've been getting that antsy,tense, knot in my stomach feeling more and more lately. I know it's my anxiety acting up yet again and I know a lot of it has to do with my job situation. No, it's nothing like my last job- where I wast almost scared to go in. But it's still not great. I mean, lately I feel like I am being pushed too much! And, yes, while I can work under a

2007-02-16T23:47:00.000-05:00

J., my therapist, and I met again today for another session... It actually didn't start off as I may have wanted it to start, but turned out to be time well spent. After the past few weeks of having emotional breakdowns, I had plenty on my mind... which probably goes without saying. A lot of things came up and we discussed a lot!Prior to our appointment, I have a habit of thinking about what I am

2007-02-14T15:52:00.000-05:00

I didn't end up going to work today... The weather turned out to be a nasty, cold, icy mess! :-(. I'm really not a fan of cold, snow, or ice at all, but, that said, I'm sort of glad that it turned out to be like this. I don't think I could have gone in today anyway~ I never realized how much depression can take out of a person. It's truly astounding.I've received several comments and posts from

2007-02-11T17:35:00.000-05:00

I know it will come as no surprise to most readers, but I've come to realize that I have been slipping deeper and deeper into a depression. This weekend it reared it's ugly head... I spent most of it extremely down in the dumps. I think I was either in tears or on the verge of tears at almost every moment...As I've mentioned, I have started to seek therapy at my workplace. Friday, we met up again

2007-02-09T23:35:00.000-05:00

I think the title says it all!

2007-02-04T21:37:00.000-05:00

It would be really nice to say that things are looking up... I sincerely would like to be able to say that, but I can't... I'm still down :( and mopey-dopey. Sorry, I know I must be boring those of you who have continued to read my blog. (though I don' t blame those who have given up!).Anyway, despite how I'm feeling, I think I do need to take a break from writing about my mood. I've noticed that

2007-02-02T23:32:00.000-05:00

As you can see, I decided to change the template to my blog as well as the title. I just thought it was time... Naming my blog, "My Blog", ok, wasn't the most original title... a 2nd grader could probably do better, but I guess at the time when I started it, it was all that came to mind. Complete Chaos seems to be a lot more fitting, in my opinion- it kind of sums up how my life has been... and

2007-01-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

I had hoped tht today would start a fresh, new, AND better week... What the hell was I thinking?! My blood sugar over the weekend was absolutely HORRIBLE . Saturday, I came home from the gym and tested... To my dismay I was over 200. Ok,that was a bit of a surprise, but I took a correction dose, and tried to shrug it off. The next reading would surely be better, right?! WRONG!!! Hours later

2007-01-21T17:59:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I never got around to posting a song ... Sorry about that- just was an incredibly hectic day. This would ordinarily end my week of doing this, but I think that since I skipped a day, I'll just end it tomorrow. Before I put a close to this all, I can not ignore a group that I absolutely love. If you can't guess whom I'm referring to...

2007-01-19T22:34:00.000-05:00

I chose this song/video, b/c it's SO unique and different. It reminds me of my own dreams~ surreal, unusual, and bizarre, but that's what makes them so interesting. Sometimes I'll wake up and my dreams will be so vivid in my head that it really makes an impression on me, but more often than not (at least lately) I can't remember them. It's weird, but sometimes I look forward to going to

2007-01-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

This week has been rough for me, if you haven't guessed. I've become a complete basket case lately... I really thought I was doing better~ but then something happens and I have a set back (story of my life). I need to get a grip, I know. Anyway, again, I had some difficulty choosing a song/video. I decided to choose a Sarah McLaughlin song. She's definitely one of my favorite artists- she

2007-01-18T07:32:00.000-05:00

I had this post all written last night... and, of course, I lost connection to the internet :( :( :(! Of course, I lost the post and I couldn't get back online. Usually, I would be up to all hours trying to get back online and usually making the problem worse, but since I've been so sleep deprived- I just went to bed... Ok, that's a lie- I ended up having a little binge last night, which

2007-01-16T21:58:00.000-05:00

I'm having a bit of a down day today :(... Just not feeling that great about myself at the moment~ not that I do usually, but today it seems to be worse than normal. I know I'm overly tired and that's probably a major contributor to this, but this sucks BIG time. I think I chose this song, b/c there is something sad about it- it really gets to me and stirs up a lot of emotions. It kind of

2007-01-15T21:51:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but lately I've been having a lot of trouble falling asleep at night... Actually, I know a lot has to do with having a LOT on my mind... there seems to be thoughts constantly racing through my head. Yes, yet again, I have my anxiety to thank. But now that it's showing it's hideous face more and more and starting to affect different aspects of my life, I am begininng to realize

2007-01-14T20:26:00.000-05:00

This week, I am going to try something new... Instead of boring you will all the dreadfully boring details and monotony of my life, I am going to post a song/video for each day of the week.I think sometimes music does a better job of expressing how we feel than sometimes we can express or put into words... I feel like it definitely enriches and makes my life more enjoyable-especially when I find

2007-01-06T22:38:00.000-05:00

I've got a lot of stuff floating through my mind right now... though if you'd ask me to name what exactly I'm thinking about, I don't know if I'd be able to tell you. I wouldn't be able to earn that penny for my thoughts.Honestly, I'm in a weird mood- sort of anxious (what else is new!) and restless. It's strange, b/c I 've been feeling like this more and more lately. I'll find myself distracted

2006-12-26T22:23:00.000-05:00

Christmas is over... I don't know about you, but for me, it's a bit of a bummer. It's not uncommon for me to get bummed out about it... I mean, in a way, I'm glad all the shopping, the hectic-ness, and all the other jazz is done for this year, but, at the same time, it makes me a little sad that all that stuff is over too. There's all this excitement, anticipation, and preparation, and then

2006-12-18T23:33:00.000-05:00

Kelly ClarksonOne of my favorite Christmas songs...Scott so kindly tagged me... thanks, Scott! (http://www.scotts-dblife.blogspot.com/ )... so without further ado... here's the rest of my 5 favorite Christmas Songs...2. Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas3. Oh, Holy Night...4. I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...5. Don't give up/ You are Loved (ok, not really a Christmas song, but I've only

2006-12-10T23:14:00.000-05:00

The Fray - How To Save A Life LIVE

2006-12-03T22:23:00.000-05:00

So the Diabetes OC Best Blog nominations have rolled out... and I, yet again, have been passed over :(. Damn it! Hmmm, maybe I should pull a "Faith Hill" when she lost to Carrie Underwood at the Country Music Awards. But then again, no, I guess I can't since she was, at least, nominated for the award and I wasn't even nominated for anything... whatever!Of course I'm kidding :-D . I think the

2006-11-29T23:27:00.000-05:00

I'm freaking out here :( :( :(. My blood sugar is horrible- has been for the last three days- and it has put me in full-blown PANIC mode! It's not pretty.I know, I know, panicking isn't going to help bring my blood sugar down, but there are times (like these) where I cant help it. I'm frustrated, stressed, and exhausted with having to manage this disease.The problem I'm having is actually

2006-11-26T22:11:00.000-05:00

I'm not happy with how I've been managing my Diabetes lately... Although, I have the best intentions of staying in control, things have kind of slipped up recently and, more often than not, I'm running high.... which, if you know me, is something that I hate. Personally, highs makes me feel out of control and, if there's something I hate more than highs, it's feeling out of control.I know that

2006-11-11T18:38:00.000-05:00

HAPPY (BELATED) DBLOG DAY!I realize that I'm a day or so late(story of my life), with my post, but I wanted to contribute something to mark this occasion...Over the last 4 and a half years I've had my ups and downs with this disease- both literally and figuratively speaking. I've contributed my thoughts and opinions on other peoples' blogs, posted on message boards, and also written my own posts.

2006-11-04T23:25:00.000-05:00

WARNING: Emotional Basket Case on the LOOSE!I've been an extreme wreck lately- to be more specific, I've been all of the following: moody, emotional, bitchy, irritable, and miserable (to just name a few). I don't like to blame it all on my Diabetes, but I feel that it has played a major role in my mood recently, and as I just stated, not for the better. My blood sugar has been extremely

2006-10-30T22:31:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday was my last day at my job... It was a day I was both looking forward to and dreading, if that makes sense. Yes, I was happy that I was leaving that position & some of the difficult people, but I dreaded leaving the predictability of the job- knowing what to expect on a day to day basis. Not to mention, I was dreading any last day festivities... something they generally do for

2006-10-18T22:24:00.000-05:00

I don't think I say it enough, so I'm taking this opportunity to express my gratitude for all the support and words of encouragement from my fellow bloggers and readers. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your words of wisdom- it means a lot to me. So THANK-YOU SO much :)____I have decided to take the position, I don't know if I established that or not in my last post, but I am still VERY

2006-10-09T21:45:00.000-05:00

I don't even know how to start this post, so I guess I'll just start typing...Lately things have been a little chaotic and crazy and stressful and, well, at times I'm almost at the point of tearing my hair out in frustration and pure anxiety :(. I know, I know, maybe this doesn't sound any different than what I usually write in my posts... and I wish I could post better, more positive things, but

2006-09-29T23:14:00.000-05:00

MEME time...Seeing that I have been having a real BITCH of a time at work lately... I think I could use a light-hearted moment or two to take my mind off things, so I'm jumping in to participate :). Beside, I can always use my next post for venting- yeah, I'm sure you all are going to look forward to that one. But for now, I'll stick to the meme :).1. Do you still have tonsils?Yes.2. Would

2006-09-12T20:55:00.000-05:00

Good and Bad news...I'm not sure which I should start with ... I guess it doesn't really matter... so I'll just start with the good news. Well, maybe I should let the following pictures speak for themselves.Yes, this is my brand new Honda Civic... & I LOVE it! :)Still has dealer plates on it, but that should be changed soon... (hopefully)I just hope I can keep it nice ;)I really do love my new

2006-09-01T23:03:00.000-05:00

My Vacation Post...(me on deck)A couple of weeks ago, I was enjoying a much needed vacation on board Royal Caribbean's "Enchantment of the Seas". I really had a wonderful time... I'm a little sad that it's over, but Iknow writing about it will bring back a lot of good memories and may even help me relive it a little bit.(K. at the Airport-getting excited)We started off bright and early on August

2006-08-26T19:17:00.000-05:00

MORE PROBLEMS...Since I've been back from VAY-CAY (vacation)... things haven't been going so swimmingly :( . One of my main problems, lately, has been trying to get back in control of Diabetes and this, to my dismay, has proven to be an EXTREMELY challenging thing.Now while I was away, my control was far from great. Actually, the day before we left, I spent the night at my parents and I had

2006-08-23T22:29:00.000-05:00

OK, so my post about the cruise is coming, but I have to use this post to vent. And, again, it's about my job. The more and more that I am at my place of employment, the more and more I become frustrated, annoyed, and anxious to get the hell out of there. I can explain...I had made up my mind to just go in to work, do my job, and come home and not worry about some of the bullshit that goes on

2006-08-20T22:57:00.000-05:00

My Vacation photos...I am planning on posting about my vacation -and everything that came along with it (mostly good :) stuff)- but in the meantime- I thought I'd post some photos. Like they say, a picture says a thousand words :)Our boat, Royal Carribean's "Enchantment of the Seas"...This is my sisters, K & C, and myself... think we all look like we are enjoying ourselves so far! :)One more...

2006-08-12T21:41:00.000-05:00

The last few days I've been in such a mood... Last night was truly a sight and NOT a pretty one at that. I spent the night very teary-eyed, weepy, and over emotional- basically, it was full-blown pity party, which is something I have been known to throw for myself in the past on occasion. The funny thing about it is that of all times to get all mopey-dopey, it happens during a time where I

2006-08-08T22:19:00.000-05:00

I was quite busy over the weekend. Friday was a lot of running around. I ended up having to go into work in the morning and then I cut out a bit early, drove down to White Plains to meet my sisters, and headed down to Jones beach for the Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls concert. As always, the CC put on a good show... Adam sounded great. His voice sounded really clear and crisp- better than he's

2006-08-03T23:05:00.000-05:00

Don't you hate when you write this whole blog entry and you hit a button accidentally and it disappears- argh, how frustrating! :o( Of course that happened to me two nights ago... I was almost tempted to stay up pretty late and retype it, but the more sensible side of me kicked in and told me to save it for another night. So here I am... trying to recall what I posted and redo that entry.

2006-07-19T22:31:00.000-05:00

I feel like SHIT tonight :( :( :( . Not really physically, well, maybe a bit tired, but more so emotionally shitty. I'm just really weepy and in a "poor me" state of mind at the moment. Yes, I'm throwing a pity party for myself... which isn't too unusual for me. I always think, why are things the way they are for me- why can't things be better? But,

2006-07-18T20:46:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share that I'm currently wearing and using the DexCom system. For those who don't know, it's a sensor that "reads" my interstitial body fluid and transmits a reading to a receiver. Basically, I can see what my blood sugar is doing, every 5 minutes if I want... Today, my first day on it, I've been checking it A LOT to see how my blood sugar is behaving (or should I say, misbehaving

2006-07-11T20:52:00.002-05:00

BetterCell (see updated Links) posted a question on how my blood sugars reacted after my surgery... So seeing that it's actually been a while since I have focused my blog on my Diabetes, I think his question gives me a good reason to not only address his question, but also discuss some other things going on in my current Diabetes management.Honestly, my Diabetes control wasn't all that great

2006-07-06T22:20:00.000-05:00

Part 2... RecoveryI ended up staying at my parents house for longer than I originally planned, but this was probably for the best. I think I needed company and, also, it's always good to have people around in case of an emergency or what have you...Thursday, I wasn't quite out of it, but I wasn't myself either. I spent most of the time lounging and dozing a bit as well. Friday, was similar,

2006-07-02T21:07:00.000-05:00

Is it any Wonder? Keane I, I always thought that I knewI'd always have the right toBe living in the kingdom of the good and trueIt’s so long, that now I think I was wrongAnd you were laughing alongAnd now I look a fool for thinking you were on, my sideIs it any wonder I'm tired?Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?SometimesIt's hard to know where

2006-06-30T18:42:00.000-05:00

Surgery... hard to believe, but it's been over a week since my rhinoplasty. To be completely and utterly honest, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't disappointed with things... I'm not saying I'm disappointed with the results, b/c right now my nose is still pretty swollen and it's going to take some time to see the final result, but I'm talking about

2006-06-28T13:10:00.000-05:00

This kind of thing inspires me... Bush Jogs With Wounded Soldier By JENNIFER LOVEN, AP WASHINGTON (June 28) - President Bush took a jog Tuesday with a soldier who lost part of both legs in Iraq, following through on a bedside

2006-06-17T17:21:00.000-05:00

MEME is the name of the game :)... There are a couple of really good MEMEs out there... so to take a break from my daily whining, bitching, complaining, etc.. I thought I would dedicate this post to participating in a few... hey, and if it gives me another chance to focus on myself, why not?! :) (who doesn't like that? lol)The first one was started by

2006-06-15T20:54:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share my sister's response to the email I sent her last night regarding my surgery. No, I was not surprised at all by her reaction, she reacted EXACTLY how I expected. BUT it is still hurtful and it bothers me immensely to read her response. Saying that, I thought I would post it anyway... maybe others can provide me with feedback or give

2006-06-13T22:02:00.000-05:00

For those who don't know, I have my surgery scheduled for a week from this Thursday. Honestly, it hasn't completely sunk in yet... And to be completely blunt, I am nervous, alright scared :(, but I'm sure that's natural, right? I mean it is surgery and there are risks involved, as with anything- but, I am still fairly confident that my surgeon will do a good job and that I will be okay.I actually

2006-06-11T21:56:00.000-05:00

So it's been a little while since my last post... Ok, yes, I was in a CRAPPY mood that day (to say the least), but I guess that everyone has those sort of days now and then. I just so happen to have more of them than others- how splendid for me (NOT). Anyway, the weekend did improve, as I had hoped, b/c the following day we went and saw the Rob Thomas concert at Mohegan Sun. Though I love Rob,

2006-06-03T19:41:00.000-05:00

I'm in such a pissy mood :(. I don't think I have any reason for it, I pretty much hate just about everything and everybody at the moment. Just a little while ago, I was blubbering like a BIG baby. I know it's stupid... I know it's idiotic... And, yes, I know I'm only feeling sorry for myself, but sometimes I just can't help feeling the way I feel. That

2006-06-01T22:02:00.000-05:00

I'm having some problems :( :( :( ... Lately, my diabetes control has been pretty sucky to say the least. I'm not a happy camper!This past week has been difficult for me, in terms of controlling my numbers. For reasons beyond me, I have been dealing with high number after high number. And what is driving me even more mad, is that I can't figure out why

2006-05-25T21:48:00.000-05:00

I'm so beat :(... All of a sudden it just hit me like a ton of bricks- and, wow, did it hit me. After reading how some of my fellow bloggers are getting over being sick, I hope I didn't contract some bug... That's the last thing I need.This weekend is supposed to be nice, like 80 degrees, and it's a 3 day-er, so I don't want anything to ruin that. And being sick would. I'm hoping it's just me

2006-05-17T22:18:00.000-05:00

Want to know if I have made any changes since my last post? Well, uh... NO. Nothing has changed. So much for my goal setting **rolling eyes***.Guess the fact of the matter is that the motivation just isn't there. I haven't been motivated to work at achieving my goals and, as a result, I'm still having problems and I'm still getting frustrated. Yes, I

2006-05-13T22:29:00.000-05:00

Update from my appointment...To my dismay, things did not go as I had hoped regarding the visit and my test results :o(. I got to the appointment about 10 minutes late, due to traffic on 84... But, honestly, I didn't give myself enough time. I was worried about the time lost from work so I left at 4:25 (instead of regular time, 4:30) to make my appointment which was scheduled at 4:40. I

2006-05-10T21:32:00.000-05:00

So here I am- trying to play catch-up on what's been going on lately. I know I have posted about a lot of random stuff lately, but I haven't discussed my Diabetes for a good while. Seeing that I have an Endocrinology appointment tomorrow- guess it would be a good time to do so. ;)To be honest, I haven't been as

2006-05-07T20:27:00.000-05:00

Can't believe it's Sunday again :0( (boohoo) and, worse yet, tomorrow is MONDAY! (eek!). Weekends just fly by... which doesn't seem quite right, since most of the work week drags on so S-L-O-W-L-Y. Honestly, I can't stand the thought of going in tomorrow to another joyous week (not) of work, but as I've said before, I have no choice in the matter :(,

2006-05-01T22:39:00.000-05:00

It felt good to let you all in on the cosmetic surgery I'm considering. However, now I am having a hard time getting my family to understand and support my decision to move forward with this. Just tonight, I IMed with my sister, K., about this issue. Needless to say, she is also dead-set against it and was very upset that I'm considering this. She

2006-04-30T18:56:00.000-05:00

So I promised I would let you all in on what I'm currently contemplating. But before I do, I think I should give you some background information. I think it might help you understand why I'm considering what I'm considering (does that make sense?)I've pretty much always been an insecure person...at different stages

2006-04-23T21:31:00.000-05:00

I've got news... and most of it is good, which is unusual for me. This post will be a bit of a departure for me...so be prepared. It's somewhat weird for me, b/c I am so used to being a bit of a drama queen and expressing negative thoughts and emotions, so it feels a little strange posting something different. Frankly, it's about time I share some good things... and I have to admit that it's

2006-04-18T22:35:00.000-05:00

The I MEME... I: like this one and thought I'd participate...so here it goes :)I AM: feeling a bit tired at the moment and a bit stressed from recent happenings at work and in my personal life I WANT: to be happy (is that so much to ask for?) I WISH: I was more content with things in my life I HATE: when people are obnoxious and rude for no reason-

2006-04-18T20:59:00.000-05:00

I haven't checked in a while... But there's a good reason for that. See, I managed to get myself into a bit of trouble at work. I must admit, it's my own fault. I haven't been a good employee and my managers , A & T, have taken notice. Last Tuesday, A &T, my managers, called me into A's office. I know whenever

2006-04-10T14:00:00.000-05:00

In light of my last blog, I thought this was appropriate :o)...I will buy you a gardenWhere your flowers can bloomI will buy you a new carPerfect shiny and newI will buy you that big houseWay up in the west hillsI will buy you a new lifeYes I will...I Will Buy You a New Life... Everclear

2006-04-06T12:35:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about this a lot in the past, but Art-Sweet's recent post (check out the link)inspired me a lot today to write about this... After the comment I left on her blog, this is going to sound a little contradictory and it's also probably going to come across as a very whiny, self-pitying post, but so be it. The truth of the matter is that I am not happy with things in my life.

2006-03-30T14:09:00.000-05:00

This is my 2nd post today. No, I wouldn't normally post twice in one day, but I am so agitated right now, I need to get this out.I am so sick of people right now. Maybe I'm anti-social, maybe I'm psycho, or maybe I'm just plain crazy, but I'm getting to the point where I want to find a cave, stay there, and not come out. I can understand how agoraphobics feel. Ok, literally, agoraphobic means

2006-03-30T10:38:00.000-05:00

Hi, my name is Andrea.... and I am a diet Coke/Pepsi (diet soda)addict. Yes, I have got a problem... I drink WAY too much diet soda. I've come to believe that I am addicted to the stuff and, quite honestly, I don't think that's a good thing. In fact, I know it's not a good thing. I don't see how it could be- it has absolutely no nutritional value, a lot of what it contains I cannot even pronounce

2006-03-24T14:03:00.000-05:00

You Are 40% AbnormalYou are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is

2006-03-22T12:23:00.000-05:00

I had my Endocrinologist appointment yesterday... but, wait, let me back up a bit. Friday, I finally had my appointment with the CDE, Becky, at the other practice where I was hooked up to CGMS.It had been a couple weeks since I was actually "hooked up" on CGMS, but due to some technical difficulties, my earlier appointment was cancelled. Anyway, I actually had the day off, so it was a little less

2006-03-10T14:09:00.000-05:00

I had quite an experience last night. What happened literally scared the shit out of me and made me feel like the biggest fool on the planet. I still cannot believe it happened. It started off as any other evening. I went to the gym and spent about 1 hr and 10 minutes on the arc trainer. As I was leaving, I noticed that I didn't feel quite right...but I kind of just shrugged it off. Yes, I

2006-03-01T10:35:00.000-05:00

I'm curious, how much do time do those of you, with Diabetes, spend thinking about the disease? I'm wondering if I'm an oddball... Ok, lol, I am, but I'm talking in terms of my Diabetes and time spent on it and thinking about it. I read a LOT of Diabetes related things on line, mostly message boards and blogs. Anyway, from what I've read on different message boards, I've come to the conclusion

2006-02-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you need a change or need to make some kind of drastic move? Well, that's the way I've been feeling. I'm not sure exactly what kind of change I'm looking for exactly, but I know that something has to be done to break up the monotony of my life... I hate to say it, but there's nothing going on in my life that I really excited about or interested in. Each day I wake up to do the same

2006-02-23T10:03:00.000-05:00

My last blog centered on how I had just been put on the CGMS by Minimed. Before I kind of review this experience, I wanted to address some of the comments on my last posting. CGMS- is a constant glucose monitoring system, put out by Minimed. It looks similar to a pump, in my opinion, but is slightly bulkier and the screen and buttons are a little different. It has some kind of sensor device which

2006-02-20T17:19:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know this, I got "hooked up" to the CGMS system- the monitoring system put out by Minimed- today. I'm guessing that that would be many of you...seeing that I don't think I mentioned it in my past blogs. I actually got this suggestion from a fellow blogger (Julia-TY :) btw) and thought it was a great idea, especially since I'm having all these issues and problems testing

2006-02-15T13:49:00.000-05:00

After the problems I have been having with my blood sugar recently, I made the executive decision to move my appointment up. Last week, I had major problems with high blood sugar (for no apparent reason) and I'm still experiencing the same blood sugar issues that I have been, after exercise. I didn't want to hold off or wait any longer, so I called and asked if I could be seen sooner.Well, the

2006-02-14T14:36:00.000-05:00

Humbug, it's V DAY >:o(I'm in protest of Valentine's Day- blech, ick, boo! :( I decided yesterday that I was going to get up today and express my distaste for this so-called "holiday". Part of that expression is my choice of clothing. I went for an all black ensemble. Sure, it probably looks like I am in mourning, but I really don't care. Another thing...I refuse to say the full V word...or I

2006-02-10T11:41:00.000-05:00

If you haven't already, check out Nicole P.'s blog, aka Curious Girl. She provides her answers to the following question, which was originally thought up by Julia (I believe). Also, if you haven't already, please check out their blogs. I just added Curious Girl's (Nicole) and Major Bedhead (Julia's) blogs to my links... Also, please check out Kelsey's blog, My Diabetes Diary (also in my

2006-02-09T09:48:00.000-05:00

I posted this on a support board I am a member of, but I thought it would be good to post this here, as well. The fact is, I could use any and all insight, advice, and support I can get. Since I've received such great advice and comments from others before, I'm hoping to get the same feedback again.These last few days have been, for lack of better words, HELL-ISH. Let's put it this way, my

2006-02-08T13:50:00.000-05:00

I've finally been tagged! Can't tell you how excited this makes me, lol :) . Plus it wasn't just by one fellow blogger, but two very talented ones, Tiffany and Johnboy. I'm feeling very popular at the moment, j/k, of course, ...but it does feel good. I think I was sort of passed over the last time. Anyway, here goes nothing :)Four Jobs I've Had: (funny how they all have to do with money, yet I

2006-02-05T22:32:00.000-05:00

I did something last night I was planning on not doing again. I subscribed to Match.com...well, sort of. There were offering one of their free 3 day trials so, I thought, what do I have to lose? If nothing encouraging happens in the next few days (I know that's asking a lot!), I"ll cancel. However, being me, I need to analyze why I even decided to

2006-02-03T09:12:00.000-05:00

I think I have ADD, I really do. I can't concentrate or focus on anything... My mind is always wondering or thinking about a million things at once (ok, maybe not a million, but you know...). The fact that my job consists of me sitting at my cubicle all day, doing the same monotonous job gives me plenty of time to sit and day dream...which I'm not sure is a good thing. Oh, you know what else is

2006-01-31T12:24:00.000-05:00

The struggle continues :(. I am still having the same problem post exercise. I just can't control my blood sugars and as I continue to experience this problem, I am losing patience (not to mention my head). I cannot believe that I still haven't come across something that would, if not solve, improve this situation. It's so frustrating. :(Friday, my CDE/dietician got back to me after looking over

2006-01-27T14:19:00.000-05:00

The only real good thing going today is that it's Friday. Yes, it's been that kind of day and the sad thing is that the clock says it is only 2:28 pm...so it's not near to being over. I wish it was possible to push the clock whatever way we wanted to make it the time we wish it to be. Right now- I wish it was about 6:30 pm. The day would be over, I would be home, and I wouldn't have to deal with

2006-01-26T13:57:00.000-05:00

Ugh...I'm sick. Needless to say, I am NOT a happy camper. Everything seems to get on my nerves and I'm taking it out on people who do not deserve it. On top of that, I still can't get my nighttime blood sugars on track. I'm very irritable, I admit it. I guess it's no surprise that I'm sick. My work environment sounds more like an infirmary than a billing department. People coughing, sneezing, and

2006-01-23T08:38:00.000-05:00

I finally did it... After putting it off and putting it off, I finally tested my overnight basal rate. Actually, I did it last Wednesday night into Thursday... I've been meaning to post about this (and also some other things), but for some reason I haven't really gotten around to it 'til just now. So this posting will be dedicated to catching up...First things first...my basal rate. Well, as I've

2006-01-16T11:16:00.000-05:00

Wanted to use this blog to say "Thanks" for the responses :). You all are such a big help! :) It's nice having people who understand and are so supportive. I'm always open to any ideas and suggestions in getting things under control- I'll take all the help I can get.Yeah...I'm getting frustrated with these dang highs :( :( :( . It's just about every night. I'm beginning to think that 200 is a low

2006-01-12T11:08:00.000-05:00

On Monday, I had my Endocrinology appointment. Originally, I was supposed to have it January 19th (my Mom's birthday), but the way my blood sugar has been running lately, I lucked out, and was able to move it up. All in all, it was an ok appointment, but I guess I was hoping that things would have turned out a little differently.This was my first appointment with my new doctor, Dr. P. Although Dr

2006-01-06T12:19:00.000-05:00

Just one day after making my resolutions and I've already had a slip-up :( :( :( . Actually it happened last night, which is not even a full day of making these goals for myself- How pathetic can I be? I'm so disappointed and angry with myself. I should know better, I really should, but yet this still happened. UGH! :o(I got home from the gym last night around the same time as usual and started

2006-01-05T10:26:00.000-05:00

Ok, Resolution Time...Yes, it's a new year, and like many people do, I made a few resolutions I would like to accomplish in 2006. I admit that I haven't always reached my goals in the past, but I'm hoping that this year will be different. Now, I know the smart thing to do, and probably the most realistic thing, would be to focus on one, but this year I have 3. I'm hoping with a little luck

2006-01-03T12:08:00.000-05:00

The word of the day (or should I say of my life?) is Disappointment :( I'm disappointed :(... I'm not going to lie or try to deny that. What am I disappointed about? Well, let's put it this way, what aren't I disappointed about... I know, I know, I'm sounding like I'm feeling sorry for myself...and I am, but I can't help it. I just feel like the only thing I've been given in life is

2005-12-29T10:55:00.000-05:00

So let's see...my guy situation, well, I don't even know if I can call it that. However, I will let you all be the judge of it all. I'll take whatever insight you can provide, b/c I really don't know what to think about where things stand. God knows, I could use the help!Ok, so a couple weeks ago I met this guy my co-worker, S., started IMing and communicating with. For some reason, she didn't

2005-12-27T14:15:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe, but true... Christmas is officially over :( . In a way, it doesn't even feel like it happened. It came...and went...SO fast! I guess that's typical of the holidays. However, I remember when I was in school, Christmas seemed like it would never come.My holiday was good. I stayed over my parents house on Saturday, Christmas Eve, since I would be there for Christmas Day anyway. I