So Mom asks me today if I am depressed, to be honest, I think I very well might be. I just have felt very down lately and I can't explain why. I know some of it has to do w/ my diabetes, but I can't say that that explains it all. I think I'm probably in a funk.

I realize that I am very self-destructive in many ways. When things start to go in a good direction, I sabotage it by making bad decisions and choices for myself. Not only that, but I do things that will hurt me in the long run. I don't want to go to much into it, but I'll just say that with my health the way it is, I really should NOT be doing some of the things I do. Yet, sometimes I feel like I can't stop doing those things. It's frustrating.