Thursday, July 06, 2006

Part 2... Recovery

I ended up staying at my parents house for longer than I originally planned, but this was probably for the best. I think I needed company and, also, it's always good to have people around in case of an emergency or what have you...

Thursday, I wasn't quite out of it, but I wasn't myself either. I spent most of the time lounging and dozing a bit as well. Friday, was similar, but I was even moodier than I am usually. It's no excuse, but I really have little patience... and I am a terrible patient. I don't know how my family dealt with me, particularly my Mom, b/c I was just awful.

However, it worked out that they all had to work my inital thought was that I wouldn't have to worry about any problems. It goes without saying that I was wrong. My Mom and Dad worked full days, but sister, K., only had a half day, being that it was the last day of school (she worked as a teacher's assistant). Of course of all people to have a short day, it would have to be her... which is not what I would hope for. Since my arrival, she had still refused to speak to me and I could tell that she wasn't going to make any part of my recovery easy on me. Sometimes I wonder how she can be so stubborn and cold...even if she was adamantly against my decision.

In fact, she showed little to no consideration that afternoon. That Friday, my older sister, C., my Dad, and my younger sister, K. were all going to a Yankee game. I was pleased to know that I wouldn't have to run into her too much. But before leaving, she decided that she was going to make a lot of commotion and noise getting ready, which was bad timing. I had just went to lie down and had started dozing off. But I was interuppted with her banging drawers, blasting her music, and the hair dryer going. I yelled for her twice to shut the door, only to be completely ignored. Finally, my Dad came upstairs to see what the noise was about... and told her to have a little consideration, since she was being blatantly obnoxious.

At this point, I was quite upset. I knew that she was going to be difficult, but I didn't think she would go out of her way to be so. I eventually did calm down, but I was still so angry. Hours later, my Mom arrived home for work, and I was still furious with K's insensitivity. I was beyond irritable and agitated and I, sadly, took some of that on my poor Mom....which is all she needed after a long day at work.

Saturday and Sunday flew by and by Sunday I was able to drive home. In a way, I was glad to have my own space and not worry about having any noise or difficult people, but at the same time, I didn't know exactly what to do with myself. I spent a lot of time being completely lazy, lounging, reading, or watching tv... and it was nice for awhile, but as the days went on, I was getting bored and anxious to return to my usual routine.

Later in the week, Thursday, a week after my surgery, I returned to my surgeon's office for a post-op visit to follow-up on my healing and also to get the cast off my nose. Prior to that visit, I went online looking for cosmetic surgery before & after photos... probably out of curiosity. However, I think this was a mistake... I saw many photos of patients where you couldn't even really tell they had surgery. This was my fear...that I went through the whole surgery, was going through the healing process, spent a LOT of money, and dealt with hostile, opinionated family member(s), and then wouldn't be able to see a difference.

Ok, I think those photos I saw weren't the best quality or the clearest images, so I'[m sure there were subtle differences, but I think I expected more than that... I knew, however, that I would just have to wait and see my own results. Saying that, that fear was still fresh in my head, but I t tried to stay calm and open minded. Well, I tried anyway.

Anyway, I arrived and soon was taken back by Dr. C to the exam room. He advised me that there still was a lot of swelling, and also advised me to keep that in mind when seeing what was under the cast. He took the cast off with a razor (which kind of hurt) and then went about pressing on my nose to reduce swelling, so he said. Then he gave me two mirrors to view my new nose. Well, I think I worked myself up so much, that I had convinced myself before I saw the images in the mirrors, that there was going to be absolutely no difference. I left composed, but that quickly changed.

My parents wanted me to stop by...which I did, but I think they were kicking themselves seeing the emotional mood I was in. I was extremely upset, disappointed, and teary eyed. They kept telling me that there was definitely a difference and that I would likely see more as time passed and the swelling reduced. But at that point, I wasn't having any of it... they couldn't convince me of this as much as they tried. So I stayed upset and disappointed over the next few days.

However, time has passed and the swelling has gone done dramatically. I can see definite differences, be it subtle, but still differences. Monday I returned to work and, frankly, was a little nervous about facing other people's reactions. But, there wasn't any reaction to speak of, no one said anything. I'm not sure if that means that they can't see any change or what. But then I think, what would they say?

Ultimately, it should my opinion that counts most regarding this. Presently, there still is some swelling and puffiness, but I do see subtle changes... and they are mostly good. Honestly, yes, I'm a little disappointed overall. I guess I was expecting something a little more drastic, but maybe these expectations were a little unrealistic... And when you set expectations like this, it is just setting you up for disappointment.. but that's something I guess I'm getting used to.

~~~As a side note, my sister, K, and I are now on talking terms... I am still hurt and bothered by her reaction., but, saying that, I'm trying to be a bigger person... Staying angry would not get me anywhere and I think it's in my own best interest to try to move on... and I'm trying~~~


Blogger BetterCell said...

Hello Andrea......How have your blood sugars been as a result of all this physical and emotional trauma/healing?

10:55 PM  
Blogger julia said...

It can take months for you to really see a difference. And to be honest, a good plastic surgery experience shouldn't be a huge change, unless you're having huge amounts of liposuction or a body lift after weight loss surgery. What you don't want is people coming up to you and saying "Hey, great nose job!" That would be bad. Not to mention tacky and rude. :D

6:08 AM  

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