OK, so my post about the cruise is coming, but I have to use this post to vent. And, again, it's about my job. The more and more that I am at my place of employment, the more and more I become frustrated, annoyed, and anxious to get the hell out of there. I can explain...

I had made up my mind to just go in to work, do my job, and come home and not worry about some of the bullshit that goes on there. However, this is proving to not be so easy. I can't help but get irritated by a lot of the people I work with. I mean, some days I am not sure I'm actually working with a bunch of adult women or if I'm working with catty, high school girls... I am really starting to believe the latter and it does bug me, probably more than it should.

What gets me even more is that a lot of the crap that goes on seems to be just fine and dandy when certain people are involved, but if I ever dreamed of daring to do the same, there goes A's eyes staring at me in disapproval, or T raising an eyebrow. But, yet, if a favorite, like S., or any one else did the same things, it's A-OK.

I'll give you an example. Every morning, yes, I mean everyday, S. and this other girl will stand around for at least 40 minutes, just socializing and chit-chatting. But that's not where it ends. Throughout the rest of the day, they'll continue to run back and forth to each other's desk to do the same. And it's not just that, b/c then S. will be on the phone with this daughter ,or that daughter, or this sister, or that friend all day long. I truly wonder what they think when they get the phone bill and they see the log of calls that she makes on a daily basis. I guess it's ok, or at least ok for her to do it...

When my friend K. was working with me, I got in trouble, b/c they said that we were talking a bit too much. Well, WTF!!! Hello?!!! Are they blind, do they see what goes on with others I work with? Or are they just choosing not to see it? Of course, I know the answer to that one ... :(.

I know that people will always have their favorites. And I know that for people you like, you would be more likely to let things slide. BUT, I feel that the rules should not only apply to certain people, but to everyone. No one should be given preferable treatment and, unfortunately, that's the way it is where I work.

Obviously, I am not a favorite, but whatever their personal feelings are about me, I feel that if I am doing my best to get my work done, that that should be recognized. I feel like I work so much harder than a lot of people there, & it doesn't matter. It doesn't win me any points and I don't think anyone even realizes it.

If that isn't bad enough- there's more! Yes, more drama... :(

There's another woman I work with, J., who is not one of the well liked people there. And I know, for a fact, that my bosses do not like her. I have to admit, there are times where she does get on my nerves. But what people say about her behind her back, and how truly cruel some of these people I work with can be, really disturbs me.

People will not only say that she doesn't know what she is doing, but they'll make fun of her clothes, her makeup, and various other personal things. I have heard my bosses call her "crazy", among other harsh words, which seems mean, cold, and unprofessional to me, at least.

Today she was called into A's office. I don't really know what the story was, but as soon as that door closed, little groups of people started to gather and, yes, it was easy to guess what was the topic of conversation.

I heard this one say, "Oh, I'd love to be a fly on the wall..." and another acted perfectly gleeful that J. was being reprimanded for something. And then someone said, "I think she's being fired..."

I just don't get it. First, I don't see why people are so set on making this woman an outcast. I don't think she's ever really said anything mean or evil spirited to pit people against her. But it's like people just love to cut other people down, especially people who are different.

Second, how is it any one's business what was going on in that office. Admittedly, I was curious to know what was going on-I guess that's human nature,but I definitely wasn't happy about it.

It makes me wonder what people said about me when I've been called in. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I'm so sick of the shit that goes on. And it doesn't help that I'm starting to get paranoid from seeing people constantly whispering and gossiping... I know that there's no escaping people's comments- they're going to say, what they're going to say, but I just hate that these people are capable of spewing so much poison. It really does make me sick.

So now if the job didn't suck enough, dealing with the people there only makes it worse. I'm not naive, I know that anywhere you go, you'll be likely to find some of this stuff going on. But I feel that this goes beyond normal and really does cross the line. I guess in a way this is good, b/c maybe this will serve as even more motivation to find another position and get the fuck out of there.