MORE PROBLEMS...

Since I've been back from VAY-CAY (vacation)... things haven't been going so swimmingly :( . One of my main problems, lately, has been trying to get back in control of Diabetes and this, to my dismay, has proven to be an EXTREMELY challenging thing.

Now while I was away, my control was far from great. Actually, the day before we left, I spent the night at my parents and I had horrific readings all evening long. How horrific, you may ask? Well, let's see... how about readings as high as 500. Yeah, that's pretty scary stuff. And I was really miserable. Finally, after multiple corrections and changing out everything I could think of... I collapsed into bed- completely worn out from both exhaustion and the stress of dealing with it all.

I feared having a repeat of the last cruise I was on... (which I did post about for those interested-search posts from around last August). Basically, I had a pump malfunction and, to make things even more wonderful, I didn't have any backup supplies. Let's just say it ruined my time away and my sister's as well. Anyway, I was really afraid that I was going to have a repeat of that awful situation. However, guess all those corrections and changing of sets worked, b/c I woke up te next morning with normal blood sugars-phew!- which was a real relief to see.

Of course, i was still very paranoid that my pump was going to fail on me. Any time I heard a beep or sound that could possibly be confused with a pump alarm, I had to check my pump. But, luckily, whatever caused those extreme readings seemed to no longer be an issue, b/c my blood sugar seemed to be okay for the most part throughout the cruise.

Ok, no, they weren't great. I did spike every afternoon after my workout, of all times (?), to about 300, but other than that, I managed.

Yes, usually, seeing a reading as high as 300 would sort of freak me out, but I thought that I'm not going to spend my vacation worring about it. I decided that I would just treat whatever high or low I had and move on. Ok, lows weren't an issue, being that I was around food for a large part of the day (hey, I was on a cruise, lol). But I did have several highs, as you may guess.

Well, since I've been home, I guess you can guess that things haven' t gone as planned. Since I've been back, my blood sugars have been anything but in control. For a few days they stayed in the upper hundred to anywhere in the 200 range. At first I thought, ok, no big deal... I'll just wait this out. But each new day showed no improvement. Actually for a while there, things only got worse and worse. And it was taking a major toll. I was feeling pretty shitty :(. I was running to the bathroom all the time and I was exhausted. And each new high (reading), brought me closer and closer to panicking...which is what I tend to do when I feel out of control.

Thursday, when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, I had another setback. First, it was such a long ass day that I thought would never end, which made me even more anxious. But, finally, 4:30 (quitting time) did eventually come. And I just about busted out of there.

I went to the gym, as usual, stopped at Stop & Shop to pick up a few things, and then proceeded to drive home. Well, as I was driving home I noticed that my car was driving funny. It kept veering to the right. For a minute, I thought I might be dragging something, so I was like, ok, maybe I should pull over and check it out.

I pulled my car over to a little side street, put it into park, and got out to look for whatever was causing the problem. The driver side seemed fine, but I discovered a problem on the passenger side. My front passenger side tire was completely flat. Oh shit, oh shit, oh SHIT!

I basically was stunned... and my mind went blank. Finally, I thought that maybe I could turn the car around and make it to the gas station -which was only a very short distance away. But as I turned the car, I realized how bad of shape it was in. I didn't think I would make it. Let's just say every movement was felt, and I was boucing up and dow with every movement. I pulled the car off onto the shoulder, but at seeing how fast and how close cars were passing, decided to pull off onto someones driveway.

At this point I thought maybe I could call my parents. I did a couple times, but no one was there. I knew there wasn't much they could do being that they live 40 minutes away, but I thought maybe that they could help me decide how to handle this. I then called my two sisters, but they weren't there either.

I decided to call the police. The dispatcher told me that whoever came out may not be able to change it, but would try and help. what? Why couldn't hey help me change it? I didn't get that, but I didn't care at this point, as long as someone was going to try and help me in some way.

Unfortunately, the policeman couldn't change it, but we decided to try and make it to the gas station. He drove behind me to the gas station and we did make it. Ok, maybe they could help me....

Ok, maybe not. Unfortunately,it was after 7 pm, and they had already put all their tools and things away. The best they could do was tell me to leave it overnight and they'd do it first thing in the morning. This is not what I wanted to hear. I needed to get home still. I needed to work the next day. And how would I get back there to pick it up?

I ended up calling a friend of mine, K. I knew that she would help me if she could- she's that kind of person. At first she didn't pick up her phone either, but not too much later, she called me back. And she proved to not only be a good friend, but a life saver.

Turns out that she has a AAA card- which is a very valuable thing to have. They come out, change the tire, and get you going again, when you have problems like this one. I didn't know if they would help me, seeing that it wasn't my membership and she wasn't driving with me. But, we took our chances.

Of course, they told us that they couldn't tell us an exact time they were coming- it was between that moment and could be as late as 9:30 pm (which was 2 hours away). For awhile we had a difficult time deciding whether we should just leave it there and pick it up the next morning (K. volunteered to take me to pick it up) or just wait for AAA.

But I didn't want to inconvenience K even more that I had already had. She actually had plans that night with another friend, but had to cancel, thanks to me and my car issues, so after much deliberation we decided to wait.

Since we had time to kill, we went to get dinner. We were a little worried about leaving the car and missing AAA, but we decided that most likely that wouldn' t show until the latest ETA- we figured we'd be ok. Plus, we figured they'd call when they were in the area or when they got to the station my car was at.

Well, they called while we were eating and left a message on K's voicemail that someone was waiting for us at the gas station. So we hurriedly paid and went to meet the guy. He had half finished the job by the time we arrived and it didn't take him long to finish up. Soon I was driving home with a doughnut on my car. By the time I walked int the door, it was almost 10 pm. I was so tired, but I was just SO glad to be home.

Thankfully the next day was Friday, but I was so spent physically and emotionally from everything including : the problems with my blood sugar, my car issues, work stress, and the journey back to reality, that I kind of broke down at work. I wanted to leave so badly and go home, but I knew I couldn't. I just got back from vacation and I knew that I couldn't just leave no matter how badly I felt or tired I was.

I don't know how, but I made it through the day. My blood sugar issues even seemed to get better and, by afternoon, I was ok. Tired, yes, but ok. I still got myself to the gym that evening, which I reluctantly dragged myself to, and worked out. I arrived home around 7 pm and tried to relax as much as possible.

Instead of relaxing today, which I know I needed, I spent most of that day doing more running around. One thing I knew I had to get done was my tires and a long overdue oil change. I ended up spending about $180 dollars on my tires and the oil change. It was a painful, especially since lately I've been spending more than I should, but I know that this expense was essential. Now, I have to really settle down and save. Not easy for me, but I have to try.

Ugh, so this first week back was not exactly what I would hope for, but I'm hoping that things will improve from here. I'm not sure how and I'm a bit doubtful that they'll be any change or improvement, but can things get any worse? Maybe I shouldn't even make that statement... I don't want to dare fate.