Saturday, January 06, 2007

I've got a lot of stuff floating through my mind right now... though if you'd ask me to name what exactly I'm thinking about, I don't know if I'd be able to tell you. I wouldn't be able to earn that penny for my thoughts.

Honestly, I'm in a weird mood- sort of anxious (what else is new!) and restless. It's strange, b/c I 've been feeling like this more and more lately. I'll find myself distracted and preoccupied with all these different thoughts... and some of them are a little disconcerting- for lack of better words. I'd share these things, but I feel a little apprehensive ... I guess I don't feel completely safe and comfortable doing that. What I can tell you is that it has to do with life in general, the uncertainty and being unsure of what lies ahead.

I wish, in a way, that I had a crystal ball, that I had the ability to look ahead to what I can expect in the future. But, that said, I think sometimes it's better to leave the future unknown... I mean, if it's negative then why would you want to know that right now? I think that would make me more likely to lose my sanity, b/c I'd be so full of anxiety and worry about whatever it is.

Am I the only one who gets like this? Am I the only one who gets so restless and anxious about what lies ahead? I'm sure that there must be others... How do those of you who relate deal with these feelings?


Blogger Nikki said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Nikki said...

I am there all of the time. Sadly, I haven't found a way to deal with it. Sometimes I just cry. I know that is awful and it rarely gets to me in that way, but sometimes I just cry for myself.

It is hard for me to seperate my life from diabetes. First of all you are always dealing with it, Secondly, I work for JDRF and there I am always dealing with it. I cannot ever shake it. There is no normalcy for me.

I understand how you feel, I wish I could be of more help to you : (

11:40 AM  
Blogger BetterCell said...

It is not just Diabetes Andrea.......I am sure that you know it is about people/work/"situations"/relationships and a myriad of many more things. The Diabetes just adds more weight/exhaustion to everything else in trying to cope.
I find for myself, that if I exercise, enough endorphins are raised to counter any lousy feelings.
Feel better and talk to a good friend.

11:17 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Thank you both so much for your comments.

Nikki- Yeah, it's rough sometimes, isn't it? It seems like I can't even get through a conversation about my Diabetes w/o becoming emotional. It just brings up such intense emotions...

I've always thought working in a career that deals with Diabetes would be such an interesting and great thing, but as it is, I think I spend too much time focused on it... I tend to dwell on it, but I think that's b/c it's really a big part of my life. And, that said, I do feel like I can't shake it either... It sucks, but at least it's nice to know that I am not alone feeling that way.

Hugs to you~ I hope it gets easier for you and me both :)

BC~ It's so funny, b/c though we have never met, sometimes I feel like you really do know me. I can't get over that.

This post, yes, relates to Diabetes, but I think it's also about my life in general. I just hate facing uncertaintly... that's something I have always had anxiety and stress about. Maybe it's the control freak in me, who knows? But not being able to control what lies ahead really freaks me out. I guess that's life and, unfortunately, there are NO crystal balls (at least that I know of), so I just have to deal with life as it comes.

It's funny, b/c I think that also relates to my Diabetes too. The fact that I can't always control my Diabetes is incredibly difficult for me and that's what makes me panic. Ugh, I just wish it was easier, you know?

Anyway, I always appreciate your comments so thank you so much! And you are so right about working out- I am a bit of a workout fanatic, and I do find that once I go and get out some of the stress/frustration/aggression/etc., I do feel so much better.

Best wishes.

11:55 PM  
Blogger BetterCell said...

Hello Andrea......I hope you are feeling better today. If you are ever in NYC, feel free to contact me.
I wanted to share this w/you which appeared on one of my web sites. It really adds to what you have been feeling and may help you as the "days continue".

To Be Motivated and Successful, First Forget How You Feel

You can’t make yourself feel happy or sad, nor can you send away whatever feelings do have, however hard you try. So waiting to do something until you feel “in the mood,” or basing your choice of actions on how you feel at the time, is to hand over control of your life to the varying state of your stomach, the effect of the weather, or the dizzying gyrations of your love life. Forget about your emotions. They’re no sensible basis for living well or pursuing a successful career.

Emotions are like the weather
In much writing on life, careers and personal growth, there’s an unspoken assumption that how you feel is what matters most. There are books and coaching approaches devoted to persuading people to focus on what’s going on inside their heads. Our society and media are obsessed with sentiments and emotions, giving them far too much importance. Maybe it’s because they seem more “democratic” and egalitarian. After all, anyone can feel, rich or poor: no amount of wealth increases your ability to register emotion. And emotions are pretty much evenly spread amongst people, unlike intelligence, which typically favors a small number—especially if they also have the motivation (and resources) to get a good education.

10:08 AM  

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