Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I don't think I say it enough, so I'm taking this opportunity to express my gratitude for all the support and words of encouragement from my fellow bloggers and readers. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your words of wisdom- it means a lot to me. So THANK-YOU SO much :)


I have decided to take the position, I don't know if I established that or not in my last post, but I am still VERY nervous about it. Ok, I'm scared shit-less, to be blunt. I don't know why it scares me so much to be given this new opportunity. But change has always been something hard for me :(. Plus, I can't shake my habit (if you can call it that) of expecting the worst.

I am always so negative about myself. I don't know why, but I think it's probably b/c of my past experiences... It seems like I often get myself into bad situations. I do take responsibility for that, but I don't believe all those situations were solely my fault. Let's face it, my current job was far from ideal, but I know I could have handled things differently than I did.
Yes, I think it's just something I need to learn and grow from (and I hope I do), but somehow no matter what circumstance it is, I find myself in a pickle. I sincerely hope that this doesn't happen again. I know I have the ability to make the most of the situation, so that's what I'm going to try to do.

In the meantime, I am trying to calm my nerves... kicking up my workouts, blogging, & talking about my anxiety with friends and family. It's probably TMI, but it's been a real pain having to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes (yes, nerves have that affect on me- :-s ) . But, somehow, I don't think the nerves (and everything else)it will completely go away until I actually start. No, I'm not looking forward to my first day, or first few weeks for that matter (they always SUCK), but I think what I'm expecting and how it will actually be are two different things. It probably will not be nearly as bad as I think.

Instead of closing on a ho-hum note (as I tend to do), I thought I would draw the attention to a song I'm currently loving.

The group is AUGUSTANA and the song is called "Boston"... Check it out- it's an awesome song :).


Blogger Scott K. Johnson said...

I hope that it works out for you, and, if nothing else, it will be more experience (life experience) which I think makes us all better people.

Wondering if you read Art-Sweet's last blog post, about the body failing us in such a central way and that fear of failure poking it's head into other areas of our lives? Might be worth a read if you haven't seen it already.

I totally don't know what I would do without the OC. You guys are the best support, ever.

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes life has a way of surprising you. I spent my first twenty odd years of my life making nothing but mistakes. I’m hoping for my next twenty odd years of my life I make a few less. I’m on a good streak as it is. It doesn’t mean that stuff doesn’t happen, because believe me it does, but you gain confidence in the choices and types of decisions you are making. Hang in there, it doesn’t suck FOREVER. Honest..

9:38 AM  

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