I haven't been happy with how things have been going at work lately...this week in particular. I think it's mainly my co-workers that have been getting to me. This place really isn't the friendliest of environments and, to top it off, I work with mainly all women. It seems that whenever there's a lot of women working together in an office like this one, there's a lot of bull shit that goes on. Sorry for the vulgarity, but I just get annoyed with it all. Not only that, but everyone has to know everything about everyone else. I admit, I can be curious too. Maybe this is a stereotype, but I think women tend to be more nosy about others than men are. As a bonus, there's a lot of bitchy attitudes here as well. Did I win the prize or what, when I was hired for this job?

Frankly, I don't think it's a good situation for someone like myself to be in. I tend to be a people pleaser. I want people to like be and sometimes I think I'm too nice. People can sense that and they walk all over me. Even the people I had thought were almost like friends here, I'm starting to question what they really are to me. I don't know, maybe I'm being stupid, or taking things too seriously, but I have my doubts.

I've mentioned my co-worker, W., in a couple of my posts. While I do like her, I'm a little confused about how she is treating me. Lately, it seems like she is really only concerned about her own interests. She'll socialize with me when it's convenient for her, otherwise I barely get a moment. Obviously, if she doesn't want to talk, I'm not going to force her to. I'm not going to be one of those clingy people that don't get that the other person doesn't want part of a friendship or what have you. I know that can be annoying. Honestly, I don't think she doesn't like me, but I feel like she could kind of take or leave me.

Then there's C. and S. I used to go to lunch with them both, but now I go usually by myself. That changed after the whole little episode with W and T, my supervisor. Anyway, that's actually ok with me. However, the issue I have with them both is that they both are two of the more nosy people here, especially C. Also , C comes across as a little rude at times. I'll give you an example of this. This morning, I came into work with my hair curly. Usually, I wake up, take out my flat iron, and do my best to straighten it out. Today I woke up and thought it looked acceptable curly so I didn't bother to straighten it. I got to work and I received some compliments on how my hair looked. I stop to talk to C. and S. and, of course, leave it to C. to bring me down. S. says " I like your hair curly" and so I thank her . I tell her that actually I prefer my hair straight. At that moment, C decides to perk up and give her 2 cents. she has this look on her face and she goes, "No, I don't like your hair straight". Ok, so this isn't that big of a deal, but it bothers me for some reason. Instead of just letting it be at "your hair looks nice", she has to bring a whole negative connotation to it all. I know it's just her opinion and maybe she thought she was just being honest, but it annoyed me. I wouldn't go up to her and say that .

That's why I feel that if you are too nice, people feel like they can do, say, and get away with whatever they want. In a way, I feel it's better to be the type of person who doesn't take no crap from anyone. It's hard to balance being a likeable person and also not being a doormat. I'm trying to find that balance....haven't found it yet. :(