Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ever wake up and know immediately that you are going to be high? Not high as in high on life or high on some mind altering substance...,no, I mean waking up to a high blood sugar...which is absolutely something I hate. But this is what happened this morning. I guess I kind of expected it, it wasn't something completely out of the blue. And I know why it happened.

I woke up in the early hours of the morning, used the rest room, and then somehow found myself in the kitchen. Before I knew it, I was in the 'fridgerator, getting out food to eat. I don't feel like I totally lost control, though I was half sleeping(so who knows what I was exactly aware of), but I don't think so. I know I ate at least 1 whole wheat wrap with a little (I hope) butter on it. I woke up with that high know, dry mouth and the feeling like I needed to use the rest room again. I tested and the not-so-winning number was a not-so-grand 275! Grrr! :( Not how I wanted to start this day, but I corrected it and hopefully it won't take me the whole day to bring it down, like it sometimes does.

I really hope it's not one of those difficult days, blood sugar wise or otherwise speaking, but I have a feeling that it's going to end up being that way...especially concerning work. I think I need to vent about it, b/c I'm not sure what exactly I should do in this situation. Yesterday, a friend of mine, W., invited me to go to lunch with her. So around 12, we both went out. Now we only get a half hour, so we both have to rush around a bit. She has a lot of stuff she tries to get done at lunch and, lately, I've gone with her for company. Anyway, so yesterday, we get back and go back to our cubicles. Almost at quitting time, which is 4:30 for us, she calls me for a minute just to see how I'm doing. We were on the phone for like one minute, two minutes tops. All of a sudden, I hear my supervisor, T. , talking to her with a very annoyed tone of voice. I guess he said that he's been trying to buzz her, and from his tone of voice, you can tell he has no patience. He kept repeating how he had been trying to buzz her and how she has been on the phone forever. He tells her that he wants to see her in her office, but she tells him that she isn't going after the attitude he just gave her. So after he leaves her area, I go over there, b/c I feel responsible for this little incident. W. assures me that it wasn't my fault. He is annoyed that she is helping another of our co-workers and not doing what he wants her to do. As I'm going back to my seat, T. storms by me, nearly knocks me over, and heads to my friend, W's desk. He slams done an account number that he wants her to work on. I can hear this from here.

Eventually, things die down and it's about time for me to go. As I'm leaving, T. calls me into the office and tells me to close the door. Basically, he wanted to ask me about my lunch break. At the beginning, I was going at 1:30, but when I go with W., it changes. We have to stagger lunch, so that there's phone coverage. But whenever I go, there is always two people to answer phones, which is more than enough. We aren't that busy with patient phone calls either. He tells me that he wants me to keep going at my regularly scheduled time and not go whenever W. goes and come back after 45 min, instead of our 30 min. we are allowed. This takes me aback for a minute...I don't know how to respond. I said, I don't think we were gone for 45 minutes, but he assures me we were. I know we were a little late, but I didn't think 15 min late, I highly doubt that. Anyway, he wants to know why I'm going at different times now. I tell him, I didn't think it was a big deal when I went to lunch, b/c there's always phone coverage. Then he tells me that it isn't about phone coverage or even the time, he said there is more to it, but he doesn't want to go into the details. Obviously, I'm getting that he doesn't want me going with W., that's really what this is all about.

I don't understand how he can tell me who I can talk to or hang out with. He is not my father and I don't think he has a right to do that. Plus, it puts me in an awkward position. What am I supposed to say to my friend? "Oh, sorry, I'm not allowed to go with you to lunch?" That's ridiculous. Not to mention, that this person is a friend of mine here, and I enjoy going to lunch with her. It's totally unfair and unreasonable. I can understand if he said, I need you to keep going at your regularly scheduled time or for coverage reasons, but the only reason is that he doesn't want me going with W.

I feel like there's more to this all than they are both letting on and, frankly, I don't want to be in the middle of it. However, I don't know how I should handle this. From now on, I'm going to lunch at 1 pm, but if W. decides to go at that time too, I think he's going to be upset. It's going to definitely seem like I told her. I admit, I did, she has a right to know, but maybe it's going to lead to more trouble than it's all worth. Seems like there's no escaping drama no matter what you do or where you are.


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