Wednesday, November 30, 2005

First, I just wanted to say a BIG thank-you to all those who made comments on my last post. Your support, advice, and words of understanding mean so much to me. Even though I don't know anyone personally with this disease in my area, after reading your thoughts, I didn't feel so alone anymore. I know some may not be able to completely relate, but being that most of you deal with Diabetes more directly, I feel like you can understand where I'm coming from...and that helps. So thanks again :) You all are the best! :)

I'm happy to report that I did make up with my Mom finally. Unfortunately, it was after a lot of battling back and forth, phone calls, tears, and anger. I decided that I am going to see a counselor...I'm actually going today. I'm not sure how I feel about it. For some reason, I'm not crazy about paying someone to talk about things wih me. Maybe that's stupid, I don't know. All I know, is that I'm willing to give it a shot and see how it goes. My mom is going to come to a session or two with me and, that way, we can give the counselor a fuller picture of what's going on. Also, we decided that she isn't going to bring up my diabetes anymore... If something significant or worth discussing happens regarding it, I will bring it up. I think this way, I won't have the expectation that she will ask me about it and then be hurt and disappointed when she doesn't.

I'm not going to lie, I wish she would become more involved or make an effort in having a conversation (not an argument) about this, but to constantly get into a shouting match is not worth it. To be fair, I have to admit that my Mom has made efforts in the past. She arranged my family and myselfs participation in a walk for Diabetes. She has also accompanied me to my CDE/dietician apt. and doctor's apt. So I guess it's an exaggeration to say that she hasn't tried. However, I just wish she was more there fore me for the day to day stuff I have to deal with. Obviously, me forcing it on her is not working- as this argument proves. Maybe you all are right...maybe it's hard for her to see me struggle at times with this. I know sometimes it makes her feel helpless, b/c she doesn't know what to do or say. I agree that it might be hard for her even to discuss it, because honestly, I don't think she knows enough about it to talk about it... but that's what bothers me. She could learn about it if she wanted to, but she is resistant to it. Which could be out of fear. I was dx'ed at 24 (3.5 years ago) so she didn't have reason to really get involved in my care, and I think she doesn't want to take on additional stress by taking more of a role. I admit that I can be difficult at times, and this has put an extra strain on our relationship...which we really didn't need. I envy those who can have conversations about difficult topics with family. You are lucky, b/c it's so important to have your family's support, especially when dealing with a disease like this one.

3 Comments:

Blogger Johnboy said...

Andrea, I can identify with some of your feelings on this subject.

You got me to thinking about the relationship I have with my wife regarding this disease. Check it out on my blog if you have time.

For what it's worth, I would just suggest continuing to keep the communication channels open and explain your feelings to her.

9:00 AM  
Blogger mytime79 said...

I'm actually having issues with my parents as well and I think some of the thoughts and feeling I have towards them are because I have diabetes.

Unlike you and Johnboy I guess I've been lucky and my parents have always been involved w/ my diabetes (dx at age 14). However, I feel like I'm being judged and watched everytime I'm near my parents.

I think the grass is always greener sometimes. Andrea, I think it's great that you are seeking someone to talk to. I have been seeing someone for awhile and it's nice to talk to someone and have them listen. I will suggest that you see someone who has a background in diabetes. Having diabetes is a cause of the majority of my issues and it sounds like it is the main issue between you and your mother. Having someone with the background is extremely helpful. Also, make sure you find someone you can connect with.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous cin said...

Andrea,
I just want to say that I have always had support from my mom, my sisters, and my brother. It's my hubby that doesn't give me any support whatsoever. You would think after 16 yrs of marriage, that wouldn't be the case. Sadly, it is. Just hang in there and keep working at it with your mom.

6:51 PM  

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