Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I woke up late today, due to the fact that I was up several times during the night. The first time was b/c of severe cramps. I knew it was bound to happen and it did. I just was not expecting it in the middle of the night...UGHH! Then of course, around 6 am, Toby decides he wants to play. He now has this habit of trying to dig under the covers. It would be cute, if it wasn't that he does it so early in the morning. After that, I turned off my alarm and decided to get up whatever time I opened my eyes. When I did finally open them, it was 9:15, so I missed my step class.

After that I was online for a whie, showered, and went up for my Endocrinology apt. I really like my Dr. He's very attentive and patient and takes the time to talk to me and answer my questions. I hate to feel like I am being rushed along. Anyway, it went fine, except that I gained 4 lbs. I can't believe it. Here I am working out twice as much and I still gained! I don't know, maybe it's just bloat and water weight. I hope so, b/c I don't know what else to do. I guess I'll find out after this time of the month is over.

Later I went to Mom's and Dad's for dinner. I probably shouldn't have. Every time I go over, my Dad is so mean to mean. He find things that bother me, like insulting my intelligence and belittling me. It really bothers me. I know I can be a bitch sometimes to him, but I don't set out to be that way. I feel sometimes he does try to get to me. I thought family was supposed to be your support system, not where you go to be put down. It really hurts my feelings, and makes me feel inferior, and stupid. I don't know why he does that, it maybe problems with his own self-confidence. I just wish that he could be a little nicer and sensitive to my feelings. Sometimes he seems so heartless and cold. I don't know if I am ever going to have a good relationship with him, sadly to say.


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