Saturday, September 10, 2005

Well, I made it through another work week at my new job...ok, techinically only 4 days, but that's b/c Monday was Labor day. I have to say working only four days makes the week go a lot faster. As for how things are goin. I guess ok. I'm trying to learn and pick up everything, but I'm still a little lost. That's probably to be expected, I've never done this type of work before. Hopefully, it will sink it more as I go along. As for liking it...well...I don't know. I wake up everyday full of dread at the thought of having to go to work. I know that's not a good sign or attitude, and maybe it's just nerves, but that's how I feel. I thought the people were nice when I met them orginally, but now I don't know. Friday, I felt all alone. No one came over to talk to me or socialize and I don't like that. I'm stuck in my cube all day :( . Yes, I know I have to make the effort too and start conversations, but to do that feels like pulling teeth. It's hard when you get the vibe that someone doesn't want to talk to you. I'm hoping that will improve as time goes on and people will open up more.

I've been thinking of the cruise more and I must admit that I am a little jealous of my sister. She seems to have it all going for her and lately I have felt like I'm going through an awkward stage (if that's possible at 28?). She met a guy on the cruise who really seemed like a nice guy...I didn't meet anyone. The last night we went to the club on the ship, well this guy she had been watching and who she liked came over and she went up to dance with him, leaving me to sit there and feel like a loser. Sometimes I really feel like I am this ugly troll who no one wants to be near, but I feel part of it is that I am putting out this message to leave me alone. I'm very shy around guys and I think it's gonna take a lot for me to really feel comfortable and let my guard down. I don't know why that is, but it's definitely something I wonder about. Maybe I need therapy, lol. I probably shouldn't laugh at that, that may be necessary.

I don't know if I mentioned that I talked to a supervisor of tech. issues at MM. Well, she was very nice and sympathetic to what I went through on the cruise with my pump. However, I haven't heard back from her or anyone since Tuesday. I don't know what's up with that. I thought I would hear from someone sooner. I'm thinking of giving them a call Monday just to follow up with things. I don't want to bug her, but in a way I feel that's the only way to be heard sometimes. I'll let you know what happens.


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