Saturday, October 29, 2005

I can't believe I got so much done today! I love these kind of days :) :) :) . When you wake up at a decent hour, not too early and not too late, and things go according to schedule. For me, it makes me feel like I am accomplishing something. Unlike last weekend (Saturday), I got up late and felt like I was rushing and like everything was a hassle to get done. It totally puts me in a real bitchy mood when things don't go as I plan them. I know, I know...try to show some maturity, Andrea. I realize life doesn't go by anyone's schedule and you can't really plan for things, but when things seem to fall into place, it makes life easier.

So like I mentioned I woke up at around 8 this morning (which is very early for a weekend morning), but I decided to lay in bed for awhile. When I finally got out of bed, and stepped into the chilly air of my apt., it was about 8:30. I got dressed, had breakfast, checked my email...and then headed for the gym. Today I ran for 40 minutes on the treadmill and walked for about 30 minutes...all together about 1 hour and 10 minutes. I think I needed this workout for many reasons.

First, I've been eating like such a pig (oink! oink!) lately. To give you an example of my pigginess...yesterday I had a good breakfast, but around lunchtime, I stepped over the line. I went to Starbucks and had a Caramel Light Frappucino. Ok, it's not the worst thing you can order, but then I also bought a pumpkin spice glazed doughnut. Now, I can honestly say that I have a new addiction for these Frappucinos, but the doughnut is totally out of character. I hardly ever get doughnuts, so I don't know what it was about yesterday that I decided to buy one??? I took a small bite out of it, but put the rest of it aside for later. To make matters worse, later in the day, we had cake for one of my coworkers who was leaving the company. I wasn't going to have a piece, but my coworker, S, brought one over for me. My willpower is very weak, I ended up eating half ot the slice, maybe a bit more. Then when I was leaving for the day and heading for the gym, I had another bite of the doughnut. Stupid move... I ended up eating the whole thing and, honestly, I wasn't hungry and I didn't enjoy it. :( I know I need to start eating better, especially after the way I ate this past week. It's awful feeling so guilty and awful for eating a little more (ok, a LOT more) than you should. I know one thing for sure, I won't be getting a Frappucino 3 times a week like I did this one past. My limit is going to be once a week, if that. Let's face it, it's not exactly a healthy lunch. There's no excuse for eating so badly, however, the one I am using is that it's the cold weather that's making me feel so hungry. I don't know if that's really the case or not, but I like to joke that I'm putting on my winter fat in preparation for the cold weather. LOL :). I wish I could just hibernate all winter.

Ok, the other reason why I needed such a good workout was because I am dealing with some tense and anxious emotions right now. Getting a good, hard workout tends to help me deal with stress. My main stress is knowing that I have so much I need to do. First, I'm most likely not going to be taking Toby with me to my new apartment. As much as I love him (I really DO), I just can't have him there. He's damages things and likes to cause mischief...and if the owner sees that, I know she won't be happy. Luckily, my coworker, J, is thinking about taking him. This is a huge relief, I feel a lot better knowing he's going to a good home and that he will be taken care of. I truly believe that he will be ok. I just have to get things in order first before I give him to her. I got to check with the Vet - making sure he got his feline leukemia vaccinations, etc and also get his toys and other supplies ready. Also, I have to get a flyer made, because though she's willing to take him in for now, she probably won't be able to keep him permanently. That's fine, as long as she knows he'll be in good hands with one of her friends.

That basically brings me to my own move. I have to have all my stuff packed, arrange transportation for the move, clean my apartment well(so I can get my security back) , and figure out things such as arranging furniture, finances (moving related and otherwise), and other things as well. Also, the realtor who showed me my present apartment is going to be showing it again. They are going to have a lockbox set up, so people can come and go as needed. I'm not thrilled with that idea, but I don't have a choice. I do have to do some extensive cleaning and tidying up. It is extremely cluttered. Hopefully, as I pack things up, I'll be able to cut back on the clutter and thing will look better and neater.

Those issues basically sum up why I needed a good workout today and, like I said, I did get one in. As for the rest of the day, after the gym, time seemed to go by pretty quickly. I did a lot of running around. I went to my old stomping grounds, the bank, to get a bank check for my new landlord, R. It was strantge, no one seemed very talkative or friendly, and for some reason, I was anxious about going in there. Sometimes I hate drawing attention to myself and I knew that was going to happen when my ex-coworkers saw me. I managed, but things didn't feel natural...I guess that happens. Afterwards, I went up to Stew's to meet my sister, K. We did a little shopping and then ate lunch together. She left to go back home, and I went to Borders to get some of my class work done. I hate to say it, but I'm not doing such a great job with homework. I rush the exercises just to get them done and out of the way. I'm not taking my time and trying to learn it and I'll be lucky if I pass the certification. Anyway, I finished up most of the exercises and I called R. to let her know I was coming by with the security payment. I got to her place and we chatted for a few minutes...she showed me the apt. again. I left her house, but got confused with how to reverse the way I came. That's a typical example of my lack of sense of direction. I finally found a way out and headed to the mall to buy my sister, C's, b-day present. She's turning 30 this year, so I spent a little more on her. Tomorrow the family is taking her out for dinner to celebrate, so it should be fun. I came home for awhile, but ran back out to Blockbuster to pick up a DVD or two for tonight...and that about sums up my day. I know it's not real interesting or fascinating stuff, but that's, generally, my life for you. I wonder how things will change in my new place. I'm excited (and nervous) to find out how things will be.


Blogger Sandra Miller said...


Lady, you have got a LOT going on. Go easy on yourself about the snacks. Sounds like you're doing a great job-- saw on a previous post that your a1c is 6.7-- fantastic!

Yeah, I know you felt that the highs and lows balancing each other out contributed to the a1c, but my son's was 7.5, and I'm sure the same thing was going on. I guess I'm trying to say that 6.7, even with highs and lows is STILL excellent. Be proud.

And hey, I was glad to see that I could access your blog via a comment you left on mine (I tried in the past, but was unsuccessful).

I'll add a link to my blog this morning.

Oh, and good luck on the big move!

Take care,

11:37 AM  
Blogger Kerri. said...

Hi Andrea. I found your blog through A Shot in the Dark's link. You've been at this for quite some time! I've been blogging since only May, but I've found that there is a huge Online Community (aka The OC) of diabetic bloggers.

I've been diabetic for 19 years (I'm 26 now) and I've been pumping for a year and a half. I, too, have experienced the highs and lows, both bloodsugar literally and just emotionally figuratively. Don't be too hard on yourself. And keep posting. I like what you write.

-- Kerri.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Thanks for your comments,ladies... It's really nice to get some feedback on my blog. Just wanted to let you know, I visit both your blogs almost on a daily basis. You both are such gifted writers...and I always look forward to what you have to say. I'm trying to figure out how I can create links to your sites...but I haven't had much luck. I'm goint to continue to work on it. It would be nice if I could link others who stumble across this site to both your blogs too...I think they are ones that shouldn't be missed.

Sandra- You sound like such an awesome mom. I can tell you really care about your son a lot and he's very lucky to have you. Sometimes I wonder which is harder, actually living with a chronic illness or watching a loved one struggle with it. I think it might be watching a loved one deal with it, b/c, yes you can be supportive and try to advise that person to a point, but beyond that it's almost like you are helpless in how well the Diabetes is controlled. Since I was dx'ed at age 24, my parents and family don't really play a role in how I manage my disease and sometimes I feel like they aren't trying to take part in it. Unfortunately, we've had arguments about it- but like I said, I think they don't know what to do or say to help me when I'm struggling. Even when I tell them, I just need support, it's still hard for them. Anyway, I think you are doing an excellent job with your kids and please keep us posted on your son's A1c. (I'm sure it will be great). Also, thanks so much for providing the link- hopefully, I'll be able to return the favor.

Kerri- I really like your blog. It's great to be able to find blogs from people who really know how to write (like Sandra and yourself). You both are very talented... and, frankly, I'm a little jealous, lol :). I've been writing for a while in this blog, but it's no masterpiece. It's just me rambling on about whatever seems to cross my mind. It seems to help me deal with difficult emotions or things I'm anxious about. I feel we all need to vent at times. I'm almost always anxious about my this is a good way to get it off my chest. I swear, this disease really wears on you on all levels...there are times I feel not only physically drained, but mentally and emotionally too. It can be rough. Wow, you've had Diabetes for 19 years? That's a long you remember what it was like not to be a diabetic? It's funny, I was only dx'ed about 3 years ago, but I think I've somewhat forgotten what it's like not to worry about blood sugar, carbs, or what have you. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to not worry about that stuff...maybe someday. Thanks again for your comment :).

7:11 PM  

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